Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety happens when our stress response kicks on, even if there is no threat to our safety. This isn’t always a bad thing. Some level of anxiety can help us to feel motivated and to perform well in certain tasks. At a certain point though, anxiety can become debilitating and feel overwhelming, contributing to uncomfortable physical symptoms, as well as difficulty interacting with others or performing well on certain tasks.

In understanding anxiety, it is helpful to understand the stress response, also known as the “fight or flight” response. When we sense a threat in our environment, our brain sends a message to our body, resulting in increased heart-rate, increased respiratory rate, and other often uncomfortable physical symptoms. This results in higher concentration of oxygen in our muscles, allowing us to either “fight” or run away from a dangerous situation. So this system serves a very important purpose and works very effectively when there is an actual threat of danger. The problem is, in the world that we live in today, most of us aren’t faced with life-or-death situations often. But our brain can mistake things like public speaking, taking an exam, or sometimes no apparent stressor for something seriously threatening.

Anxiety is something that most of us experience. If you think about it, the reason why so many people experience anxiety likely has to do with the fact that our ancestors were anxious. If not for their hyper-vigilance, or extreme caution, we wouldn’t be alive today. Those who were anxious generations ago, survived to pass on their genetic material to us. We are also living in an unprecedented time. We are into our third year of the Coronavirus pandemic and the uncertainty that we are all experiencing is monumental. Even though this sounds simple, one of the most helpful ways to manage all of this anxiety is to acknowledge the fact that it makes sense. When we are able to say to ourselves, “It makes sense that I feel this way,” we combat that often overwhelming question and concern that comes from wondering, “Why am I feeling this way.” Even when anxiety doesn’t necessary make sense, it is helpful to know that you are not alone in your experience and there are many situations that can contribute to anxiety, including fear of anxiety!

The steps in better managing anxiety that I’ve seen to be most helpful include the following:

1. Acknowledge the feeling and notice the sensations in your body as well as the thoughts in your mind

   • Say something like this to yourself, “I notice I’m feeling anxious right now. I feel somewhat light-headed and my heart is racing. I am aware of the thought, ‘What am I going to say in my presentation tomorrow.’”

2. Validate the feeling

   • Say something like this, “It makes sense that I feel this way. I have been preparing for this for a long time and I care a lot about how my presentation goes tomorrow.”

3. Allow yourself to feel exactly what you are feeling

   • This may seem counterintuitive, but one of the key things in understanding anxiety is to know that anxiety is often fueled by our attempts to get rid of it. The more we allow the feeling to be there, while connecting with the feelings in our body, the more easily we will be able to manage that feeling. Think of anxiety as though it is another part of yourself that you are forming a new relationship with. And you want to better understand that part and to become curious, rather than ignoring and trying to run from it.